Police Really Regret The Advent Of Cameras On Smart Phones That Everyone Has

Splinterville, MN—

The Halfway Post reached out to the Splinterville police department today, and asked for their opinions on the murder of George Floyd and the subsequent race riots.

Some police were rather introspective.

“Policing has really changed over my career,” explained Ralph Strippy, a 35-year veteran. “When I started, back in the 90s, policing was very relaxed. People didn’t have cameras like they have now. You could put your foot over the line of sadistic brutality a bit and get away with it, you know? You could be out at night on a rural highway, find a car of a couple black kids, and, uh, no one would ever find out what you did, you know what I’m saying? Nowadays, both those kids would be live-streaming the whole interaction from before you even walked up. And when the camera is on, you actually gotta go by the book, you know? The police lawyers can’t help you out with he-said, she-said defenses if there’s publicly broadcast evidence. So if they’re taping, and you still have to do a brutality or two, you have to do it fast. And the less talking the better, because if you get sued it looks bad when the jury can see you were escalating the situation verbally. But all in all, I’d have to say police are largely way less violent than they used to be. You should have seen some of the crazy stuff I saw back when I started thirty-five years ago. The job used to give bigger doses of adrenaline, you feel me? I feel a little guilty for these young cops, starting off today. They just won’t know what it used to be. And because everything is filmed now, there’s way more paperwork, too. Yep, the golden age of policing is long gone.”

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(Picture courtesy of Dave_7.)